new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
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I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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