Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
