reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
