it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she woke up with a sticky ear
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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