This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
