She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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