so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
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I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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