theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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