I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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