i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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