Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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