Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
