I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
