Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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