is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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