he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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