Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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