I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
