Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
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If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
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You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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