the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
