Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
