There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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