one might say we're banned from that church
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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