just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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