Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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