HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
