On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
