when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
