Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
