wakey wakey hands off snakey
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
