John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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