operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
