I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
