She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
