I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
