By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
