If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
