your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I did not marry a roomba.
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