GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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