so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
