we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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