I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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