the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
