Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
