what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
