And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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