I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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