Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize