We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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