You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
