All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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