I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
