Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
please come you make the beer taste better
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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