She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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