WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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