Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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