the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
