I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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