i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
