no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
