I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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