spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
