I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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