He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
